Being a 53 year old guy who thought he was wise to the ways of the world (the English vocabulary in particular) and then some, I’ve recently found out how wrong I was when my daughter and I recently got into a friendly argument about the nickname of her targeted college, namely the University of Hawaii.
While she insisted the team nickname was “The Manoans”, I quickly and accurately corrected her with “Rainbow Warriors” as the school’s flagship moniker. In order to settle our dispute I looked up the aforementioned Rainbow Warriors on Google and the first site presented was The Urban Dictionary, which gave a vastly different interpretation of the term than I was expecting:
Kate: OK Dad! Look it up!
Me (while Googling): Yep. I’ll show you!
Me: What the hell is this???!!!
Kate (laughing): Dad, you clicked on The Urban Dictionary site!
Allow me to withhold the definition of Urban Dictionary’s version of what “Rainbow Warrior” means (seeing as this is a damn family site) compared to what I thought it meant (brave Polynesian Warrior). This got me to thinking what other interpretations of terms I thought I knew might be out there. This’ll require some investigative journalism on my part (or in other words “work”) but it’s a small sacrifice for you, our readers. Let’s begin:
What I’d guess it meant- noun; the fallout from a venereal disease
What it now means-verb; the last sound from a round of applause
My thinkin’-A homefront where used junk is sold at dirt cheap prices
Alternative-Wiping out on a snowy mountain leaving gloves, poles, skis, etc…all over the place
Me: A light bulb blows leaving you in the dark
Actual-Somebody represents an idiotic and untrue theory as fact (I’ve gotta include this term in the website motto.)
Me: (you’d think I’d know this one) Bringing a frosty alcoholic beverage up the gangplank
Actual: Getting someone bombed so that they spill the truth
This is getting so fun that I think I’ll make up a few of my own. Lemme know what you think:
“Funselfish”- Buying the bar a round so you can keep the party going when everyone seems to be wrapping it up
“Steamed Clam”- A person who walks face-first into a glass door thinking it was open
“Kangaroo”- A person who trips on a crack in the sidewalk and has to hop in an effort to maintain some dignity
“Floon”-As Chuck knows, I’ve already tried this one out to no effect. It’s intended meaning was to imply a screwup or mild mistake. Shoulda gone further but the Catholic Church wouldn’t buy into it with the whole “forgive me Father for I have flooned” serving as quite the obstacle. Worth a shot, tho.
This topic has above all proven to me how flexible, interpretive and stupid the English language can get. See ya next time.